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kenny
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Sun May 13, 2007 8:43 pm |
 Post subject: Tedism - The hit new religion!!! WOOT! |
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In the beginning there was nothing but darkness and two brothers (Ted, and god). Ted was for the darkness he couldn’t get enough of it, but god wanted more then darkness. So one day when Ted was sleeping this brother god started creating life. God put life in everything he ever thought of, some of these thing were animals. God start to realize that these animals that he just created where going to need a place to live and reproduce. After almost thousands of tries he finally creates the most perfect place for his creations to live, which he named EARTH.
Earth was great all Gods creations where doing great but Ted finally woke up Ted was so pissed that god had placed other things in he’s darkness. Ted was going to kill God, but as Ted was creeping up behind god to kill him, he had a sudden thought *why kill god when I can poison Gods creation with evil*. Ted got right on it think up a design of pure evil after years of failing Ted finally came up with the most evilest thing that had ever been made. Ted called his evil creation Humans….
While God had his back turned Ted though his humans in to gods Earth straight away the evil of humans spread causing disease, death, hate, war and every other evil that is and will ever be.
God was so pissed that Ted had destroyed this perfect world that that one perfect creation, that he though Ted straight in to Earth and made it so Ted could never escape from Earth.
After Ted spent time on Earth he realized that he had created the perfect dark place filled with evil where his stupid gay brother god wouldn’t annoy him, after Ted realized that he went a what is know as that great sleep.
God seeing that Ted had gone for a great sleep tried to remove the evil that Ted had place on his world. But the evil could be lifted but God finally came up with a way he could take evil from humans.
*Religion*
Religion was Gods way of messing up Ted’s evil. Religions became popular there seemed to be more and more being created every so often.
But Ted finally woke from his great sleep, Ted could fell that some thing had gone wrong with his evil.
Ted know is was the work of his fucked up gay Brother god, Ted searched for these religions and with the help of the evil humans left crushed them one by one.
Ted’s evil started to spread again faster and faster it spread it only toke months for Ted to reclaim over half his evil population back, Ted felt unstoppable again.
God saw this but he wasn’t just going to give up, he had an idea a crazy idea. Gods idea was to make a human of his own a human made of pure good. After years of failing finally he did it he made a human at of pure good, the one which God called Jesus.
Just a God placed Jesus on Earth a horrible Screech came running straight through Ted’s head, Ted could feel a break in the chain of evil. Ted demanded that he’s followers Seek out the thing that had put a break in his chain of evil.
It took years for Ted to find the good that had made the break in his evil chain, this was due to the fact Jesus was made to look like humans. When Ted finally fond Jesus, he decided that he would get humanity to dam Jesus.
Ted controlling the evil within humanity, he made humanity touchier Jesus and in the name of the one rule of darkness they nailed Jesus to a cross.
God cried as he watched his son die, while Ted the lord of darkness laughed hard and hard. God use the gift of life he brought Jesus back to life. Ted felt Jesus being reborn; the Screeching was ten times more pain full then when Jesus first came to Earth. It was so painful that Ted was knocked out cold, Jesus know this was the chance he was waiting for.
Jesus straight away began smashing up the evil that Ted had filled the world with; he started making humanity in to followers of God. Jesus had changed thing for ever, so it had seemed…..
When Ted awoke he was fucking pissed; he was so pissed that his hate, his anger tore straight though the force that stopped him from leaving Earth. Ted went up straight through the Tare that he’s anger had created.
God not aware of what just happened turn around to find him self stuck in a confrontation with is evil brother Ted. Ted focused all him anger and hate in to a dark blade * the black pelage*; Ted griped the dark blade tightly and drove it straight into gods chest.
Light started to flicker from the deep slit in Gods chest; the light was hot and bright and just before God burst into dust he yelled * Jesus Christ *.
Ted smiled as God turned in to dust, in the back of Ted’s mind he know he would have to go back to Earth to destroy Jesus. Ted knew if he went back to Earth he would never be able to leave.
Jesus feeling and hear God pain started to feel hate towards Ted; Jesus swear on God’s death bed that he would make Ted pay for the sin of kill God.
Ted though he really didn’t want to jumped straight back in to Earth; as Ted pasted back through the tare he had came from it started to close up.
By the time Ted had stepped back on Earth the tare had sealed back up and Jesus who had been waiting for Ted to arrive charged at The Dark Lord * Ted *.
Ted turned around just as Jesus Knocked him right on his ass. Ted with a thunder’s roar let out the words * what the fuck? Fucker do u just want to end up like your fucking fagot of a dad?* And Jesus just replied * bring it you evil piece of shit*.
Ted leaped straight to his feet and cracked Jesus in the jaw with a mighty left hock; but it didn’t even move Jesus. Jesus retaliated with a might punch of his own; Jesus hit Ted so hard that it caused Ted to fly over a thousand’s of feet in to the air.
Ted came crushing down straight on his back; Jesus was now standing over Ted’s life less body staring into Ted rolled back eyes. Than suddenly Ted spun his legs around knocking Jesus on his ass. * Haha it looks like the tables have turned* whispered Ted.
Jesus and Ted were now both on there feet starring out each other neither
Moving, neither making a sound they just both stood there starring out each other; both waiting for the other to make the next and what they both thought would be the last.
Then suddenly with at any warning Ted pulled the black pelage out of his dark heart. Jesus knowing that was the same blade of pure evil that had killed his creator; Jesus try to dodge the blade of evil but there was on escaping it.
The black pelage was plunged straight in to Jesus’s heart; Jesus with a great bang burst into dust which covered many the many lands of Earth.
Ted had finely got rid of those to good fucker the kept trying to destroy Tedz perfect world. But not all was right for u see Jesus’s words had got to people. The evil these people had been made from had slowly faded over time thanks to the word for Jesus.
When Ted notice what was happening he went around trying to turn his humans evil again. But it didn’t work his creation was know longer week the had been given free wile. This meant that Ted just couldn’t make them do what he wanted them to do. They now had a choice in weaver they did Tedz work or goods work.
Ted after spending 4 year trying to undo what Jesus had done; * ive been at this for four fucking year what? When? Why? Did this happen* then it hit Ted what if he could go to a time where it was be easier to corrupt people.
Ted know he couldn’t use he gifts on earth so he so he went to the end of the earth look for a man of pure good that had been made by Jesus. Ted went to the place of pure cold and that’s when he found the man of pure good.
Man of pure good: so you are the devil
Ted: yes I am the lord of darkness
Man of pure good: time travail is why you have come if I’m not mistaken
Ted: yes that is why I have seeked you out
Man of pure good: you know the price of time travail don’t you
Ted: what price
Man of pure good: well if you travail though time you well be come mortal. You will know longer have powers and you will die one day. Plus you will be born human.
Ted: you have got to be fucking with me!!
Man of pure good: It all true u will still be your same evil hate filled asshole but u would be human.
Ted: ok ill … do it.
The man of pure good smiled and said you shall remember everything that you did as the devil; as human it messes up your mind.
Ted: just send me though time already.
Man of pure good: when you wake you should be in the time you were looking for. Just remember u asked for this.
And then there was a flicker of light…
All of a sudden Ted woke up standing in the middle of a busy city road with some one yell out him Chris watch out for that car. Ted stepped off the road and he had realized that his human name was Chris. Well that was the name his human parents had given him; he also noticed in human ages he was 9 years old. Ted had been doing evil thing as human but wasn’t aware of it until now.
Ted didn’t like the whole idea of these people who called them self his parent having power over him so he tried to destroy then with he god like powers but then he realized he had lost them.
* NOOOOOOO!!!! How am I going to bring these people to their knees*
Then he stopped and he could feel it; it was everywhere trying to claw its way back in to every thing it was strong every strong. It was evil; over the time it had built up and now it was leaking back in to everything.
Ted got an idea from all the evil in the world he was going to focus it back into his dark sprit; Ted Know that would cause he’s immortality to fix its self.
But there was a problem with that he would have to gets these people that thought were in charge of him to go there. Cause they wouldn’t let him do
It took a year for Ted to take control of some of the evil that was there and with that evil he took control of these parents’ people; And made them move to a place called Ipswich in Queensland Australia; the point focus of pure evil.
Ted spent all his time focusing pull in the evil back in to his every part of existing; it took 7 year for Ted to get his powers of immortality back. Ted could feel that he was fully back. But Ted being mortal for so long had put good in him that could be taken out. Ted hate that he had something thing his gay dead brother had created.
But he had more important things to worry about like testing his powers; Ted called his so call parent in to the room.
Parents: What is it Chris?
Ted: well for starters my name is fucking Ted and u are both fucking dead.
Ted opened and closed his hand and suddenly his parents busted in to flames. There screams were like music to Ted’s ears he watched with a smug smile on this face.
Ted could fill that evil and good supporters were both back in action; that’s right Jesus over the year had used the good in the world to bring him back.
Ted and Jesus meet up at the same place that they had last in countered each other.
Ted: so your still fucking alive
Jesus: I see your time travailing work out in more ways then one
Ted: so it did
Ted behind his back started focusing evil to create the black pelage (the one weapon of pure evil).
Jesus: It’s not going to work this time I have an army of good ready to take you.
Ted: What the fuck?? How is that possible?
Jesus: after I came back I started looking for a way to beat you and over time I realized it was going to take an army to destroy you.
Ted start laughing and stopped making the black pelage.
Ted: an army of good humans is how u are going to kill me, the devil, the lord of evil? That’s an insult here’s what I’m going to do; I’m going to leave find my own army and in 3 years we’ll meet back here.
Jesus: I’m not letting you leave!!
Ted then clicked his fingers and Jesus flow through the air like a train had just hit him. Ted smiled and then take off to find his army.
Jesus wasn’t happy with the fact that Ted had just screwed him over but Jesus know this was a chance he was waiting for cause now he know how much training him and his man had to do. So him and his man started training.
Ted set out to find people that wanted to be in an evil army it took him two mouths to find a man that hate god his name was Brendan.
Brendan was a man that thought that god had used him so Ted took Brendan in and treated him like a brother. Showed Brendan the world of evil; Brendan loved evil but he was human so it was only time before he fucked up.
It had been 6 month since Ted had laid down the challenge of the immortals army’s. Jesus army had over five thousand men; Ted army now had five hundred men three that he would trust with his life. Bunny the dark princess (she was called the dark princess because she was almost as evil as Ted), Brendan and a shade character that went by the name of Chris Kenny.
Just as Ted thought would happen his right hand man Brendan went and did something stupid. IT was the day Ted know was coming from the day that he had meet him.
Jesus had a right hand man to his known as Joel; and Brendan thought he could become great and always been known as the one who draw first blood so he challenged Joel to a battle to the death.
Brendan: Hey Jesus love!!
Joel: What does the smell of death want?
Brendan: fuck you I challenge you to a fight to death fucker!!
Joel didn’t say anything he just smiled pulled his knife at and though it straight into Brendan’s heart; Brendan fell straight to his knees; Joel walked up to him pulled the knife at of his heart and whispered in Brendan’s this is how it will end with evil on it’s knees gasping for air.
And with one swing Joel slit him Brendan’s throat. Suddenly Ted shivered and straight away know what happened.
Ted: NOOOOO! FUCKING NO!
Bunny: what is it Ted?
Chris Kenny: Brendan has passed on from this world!
Ted: Chris Kenny you are in charge for my army you are my right hand man.
Chris Kenny smiled and got to work straight away he start getting more people to join Tedism the side of darkness…….
So it had finely been three year since the change of the immortals army’s was put in to play. Jesus and had a sea of man ready to walk into war with him; Ted had an army of one hundred thousand men plus his right hand man Chris Kenny; his evil follower princess bunny and a whole first line of men that Chris Kenny trusted.
Both army’s arrived at the same time; both army’s had the own symbols and both army wanted to show theirs off.
These symbols were everywhere; There just seemed to be a river that looked like it never ended of the good symbol.
Jesus: so u kept your word after all
Ted: What didn’t you think I was coming?
Joel: We know you were coming but we thought maybe u would find your self a better army them you had when I kill your old right hand man.
Chris Kenny: he did!! he also got him self a better right hand man. ]
Joel: and who would that be you? haha
Chris Kenny: that’s correct. I’m the lord of darkness’s right hand man
Princess Bunny: are we going to start kill this fucking good wannabes; Jesus fuckers? Or are we just going to stand around talk all day?
Ted then smiled; and suddenly half of Jesus army went up in flames>
Ted yelled ATTACK!!!!
Everyone but Kenny, Bunny and Ted shot forward with they blade’s guns and there other mortal weapons up in the air; Jesus army did the same time.
Know he was at numbered but it was ok he had a plain; Ted created the black pelage but then Ted spilt the black pelage in to three. He kept one, he gave one to Kenny and the third blade to Bunny. Then three of them ran in to battle.
It had been two days since the war had started and the only ones left standing were Ted, Jesus, Kenny, Joel and Bunny.
Ted had blood running down his face from were Jesus right hand man Joel tried to kill him.
Ted: Leave Bunny and Kenny this is for me to finish
Jesus: Joel u leave too
Kenny and Bunny: will meet up with you later. Kick his ass!!
Kenny and Bunny took off but suddenly Joel ran up and tackled bunny; Kenny grab Joel by his hair and stuck his part of the black pelage in to Joel throat.
Jesus: so it’s just us to let eh?
Ted: so it has…..
Ted and Jesus started throwing punches at each other but they both soon realized they were both equally matched in strength. So there both moved on to use there immortal powers.
After two hours of them fighting Jesus had lost his right arm; suddenly Jesus Knocked Ted straight on his ass; Ted couldn’t get back up. Jesus sat down next to the crippled dark lord.
Jesus: all you have ever done is cause death and now in a few minute u shall be came died.
Ted: I’m going to come back and I’m going to destroy my self
Jesus: NO! this time your not coming back. I’m going to end all evil when I kill you.
Ted: your full of fucking shit!!
Jesus: No you see the man who sent you through time set it up so if you die all evil would be sucked from the world.
Ted: That fucking fuck.
Jesus stood back up and pulled a blade of light at of his belt.
Jesus: it was the last thing god gave me before you killed him…… any last words fucker?
Then at the corner of Ted’s left eye he saw bunny flying through the air with the black pelage I her hand.
Ted: Yer I do…. say hi to your dad for me
Jesus smiled; suddenly he dropped his blade and fell to his knees; standing behind Jesus was some guy that was part of Ted’s army that had survived the war. Ted looked up at this guy; suddenly Bunny stuck her part of the black pelage in Jesus’s neck; Jesus turned back to dust.
Ted took back the energy from the black pelage witch fixed his legs; ted stood up and walked over to the man who saved him.
Ted: do you have a name?
Strange man: Yer its nick
Ted looked up at the sky that had gone the colour of dry blood. Ted smiled and said now it time to destroy the rest of this fucked up world.
THE END
By Ted Deuse (Chris Johnson)
*COMING SOON: MORE TEDISM* only when fucking ted gets off his ass and types up another AWESOME story!!!  |
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inf0rm3r
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Sun May 13, 2007 8:46 pm |
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| God doesn't fail. Alot of effort was put into that though. |
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Mr Mittens
Moderator
Joined: 02 Jun 2006
Posts: 1500
Location: Ireland
Sun May 13, 2007 8:51 pm |
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TLDR
_________________
You used to be like my twin |
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Wilkins
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Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3452
Location: What?
Sun May 13, 2007 8:51 pm |
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